A Lesson in Humility

Disclaimer: I apologize for the length but this will be long post. :) Just a warning.

I admit that one of my qualities that I have to work on is the fact that I am full of pride. Pride is not necessarily a bad thing. I take pride in the things I do, that's why I know it is the best that I can give. Although sometimes, pride can also get the best of you. There are times when I let it take control of me that I do not give others the chance to explain. It is sad, and I know that it is something I must work hard on changing.

Add to that a side of being very emotional. I am a passionate person. Especially when it comes to the things I love. Be it with people, things or events in my life. I believe that being passionate about something helps a person strive to be the best in whatever they choose to do. But being too passionate can also lead to a lot of drama. One thing that I am all too familiar with.

I was talking to a friend last night and it got me thinking. When did it change for me? And that's when I realized it changed when I felt that something was being taken away from me. My choice. It's hard to explain without going into detail and it's something I would like to leave in the past. But after that incident...everything changed. It was like I was on a mission to prove that I was someone who made her own choices. I made a lot of wrong choices but it was something I learned a lot from. But I digress...

While fighting to fall asleep I started to have a conversation with God. I was asking Him to help me figure out what it was that I should be doing with my life. I am starting to panic. I keep thinking, what was it that lead me to where I am? It was then that I realized that I am no one. (yes loved ones, I know I am not really no one to you) Who did I think I was? Why did I think that I was sooooo much better than everyone else when in fact I haven't done anything that helped make anyone else's life better. I had accomplishments at work, yes, but what did that have to say about the kind of person that I am? Then it hit me...I am too proud. I feel like I know everything when in fact I am still learning. I feel that I accomplished so much when in truth I have done nothing to help others make their lives better.That's just it...I think too highly of myself. Don't get me wrong, I am proud of what I accomplished. I worked hard for it. But it shouldn't end there. I have too much to learn to think I know everything. I have too much to share to think I have given enough. I have too much to give to think that there is nothing more.

So last night I learned that to be a better person you have to accept the fact that you have so much more to earn from life. Yes earn, because nothing is given for free. Everything you must work hard for. So thank you, to everyone who helped me get to where I am today. I am sorry for being too proud. I am ready to learn what it is I still need to learn.

So life...bring it on!

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Movie of the Week: Prince of Persia

The bu and I love watching movies! :) Every time there's something nice to watch on the big screen we're there with our movie buddies, Marky and Alay! :) And last night we watched Prince of Persia.

I, being a girl, admit that I know nothing about video games. I vaguely remember the ones I used to play as a girl, Zelda tops the list followed by Sonic the Hedgehog and The Lion King on Sega. :) But I also vaguely remember playing Prince of Persia with my brothers! So I was somewhat excited to watch this, although I really don't remember how the game went anymore. I probably didn't finish it. hahaha...

Going into the movie I had no expectations, I guess part of the reason why I liked it. The movie was great, not awesome, but great none the less. There was no dull part in the movie although there were parts that were confusing because they would shift scenes too quickly without much transition. But I think what I loved most about the movie was Jake...hahahaha...Maybe it's a thing I have for dirty looking, long haired leading men...in movies. hahahaha. Rain was the same way in Ninja Assassin and he was way hot there. The abs help too. hahahaha...:) But in real life, they look too dirty for my taste. I love that I'm with someone I can appreciate...after a good bath. hahahah...I'm kidding bu! :P

I would recommend you see Prince of Persia if you want a movie that's not going to bore you. :)

On a side note, what made this movie even better was the fact that I saw some of my old teammates after. They were at an ingress so I stopped by to say hello. :) I'm happy I resigned, I just miss them. :) See you next weekend girls! I hope. :)

Learning new things from church...

I have been battling with hate recently. I keep telling myself it's time to let go...but it's harder than I thought it would be. Then yesterday, I went to church with the bu and I got a reminder that God made us out of His own likeness. He made us to be like Him and I know God doesn't hate. That struck me. I want to be a better person so that by the time I find new work, I can honestly say I am a better version of what I used to be.

I read that we are made out of love and that we should be testaments to that by living a life filled with love. So starting today I will try to be like this. Look at everything from a different perspective. I am sorry for my outburst of anger this morning, an entirely different story all together. But from now on, I will try to remember to look at things from a different perspective. :)

Positivity is the key. hahaha...:D

~ The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less. ~
Eldridge Cleaver