I hate nightmares. :( They leave you feeling horrible the next day and you just really don't get any rest. I wonder when I can finally get done and over with this. It leaves me very lethargic and feeling ominous the next day. Not happy. :(

The little things...

Sometimes when life gets too fast paced and there are too many things going on and everything just seems to be too big you tend to forget about the little things. That's what happened to me last week. Friday was a very emotional day filled with disappointments add to that the fact that I was being very hormonal. It was dramafest all over. But then before sleeping I prayed about it and woke up feeling a tad better.

Life is filled with disappointments, there are just some things beyond my control. When I woke up I reminded myself that what I did control was how I would react to things. Happiness is always a choice. And though I must admit that it took me most of the day just sitting around watching Shameless before I decided to get up and move to the bedroom to take a nap. Haha...to give you perspective, the bu just got in from duty and was napping too so I didn't want to disturb his nap by waking him up. See, sooooo thoughful. I managed to snap myself out of all the drama.

When everything seems to be going wrong the best way to deal with it is to remind yourself that no one is more in control of your happiness than yourself. After an extremely sad end to my work-week my weekend was awesome because it's the little things that make life worthwhile. Take for example spending the entire weekend with my now public servant bu. Finally getting to watch a movie that you've both been raring to catch. Being even more impressed with the movie despite the already high expectations. Spending time with your godchildren even if it was just for a little while. All awesome things packed into an awesome weekend.

Without the hardships, disappointments, heartbreaks I would have never been able to appreciate things the way I appreciate them now. Never loose sight of the little things because in the end, it's really the little things that make life awesome. Here's the looking forward to more weekend breaks with the bu. :D

It's just not my day...

When I was younger I would always pray to God for a sign. Whatever it was, be it my chinese test, "Lord give me a sign if I will pass this test", or a crush, "Lord please give me a sign that we were meant for each other". Everything in my life needed a sign...and then you realize that signs are everywhere. Once you start looking for signs they just seem to be all over the place. And it dawned on me, every sign that I wanted to see is me somehow interpreting things the way I want them to be interpreted. So I grew up and I learned not to ask for signs anymore. I learned to trust in God because whatever life throws at me I know there has got to be a reason for it.

Today was not a good day. 

It started out great but everything quickly turned horrible. I don't even know how to begin to explain how I'm feeling right now. Hurt. Exhausted. Disappointed. Rejected. Those are just some of the adjectives I can think of right now but I it doesn't really sum it up. Right now as I type this though I just feel empty, lost. I know these things have a way of working themselves out and I believe that things happen for a reason. But allow me this one day to feel horrible about it and maybe tomorrow when the day starts anew I can get a fresh perspective and see things a little bit lighter.

Today was a horrible day...but there's always tomorrow.

Focus.

You know that feeling when you have soooo many things to do and sooooo many commitments to juggle and in the process you keep forgetting to do things that are important. Gaaaah, I want to bonk myself in the head sometimes.

That big change in my life is starting to stress me out. I think it's time to call in the troops! Me needs some help! :O It's crazy that it feels like the list of things to be done just keep getting longer and longer. I need to sit and list down all the things that need to be done, prepared and finalized. We can do this. FOCUS!

Change is coming! :D

I just got home from a really looooong day of errands. I have to go to a friend's party but it looks like I might not make it out, I have a massive headache and well, my cough is very persistent despite the fact that I've finished my meds.

Anyway, the reason I decided to blog today is because as I was browsing through a friends blog I got inspired by her optimism. :D You see, growing up I was sort of the pessimist. And then I realized that when you learn to look at things from a different, more sunny perspective, everything changes and life just becomes better. I know it is because my faith and relationship with God has grown. I have faith that even if things don't really seem great, in due time, they will turn around,  I just have to be patient.

I've been extremely excited to start this year. Yup, that's right...this year is going to be awesome. There's a lot of things to work out and a lot of work to be done. But I know that it will be great! :D I can't wait to be able to share it with everyone, but for now...trust me when I say,

photo sourced from the internet

It is bound to be awesome! :D

Thankful. :D

I was supposed to post this on my birthday a few months back. Sadly though I didn't really have enough time to write it all out, and I must admit that I have been lazy on the days when I could have finished it...but because during the New Year people always make time to be thankful, I thought I would do the same. :D

Because my life has been filled with so much blessings and because it is my birthday I thought it would be awesome to write a post about the 15 wonderful people and things I am most thankful for. :D Why 15? Because it's half of 30 (which was initially what I wanted to write but since this post had been dragging for way too long I think it's about time I post it already) seems like such a nice number, not old high at all, seems just right.

Since 15 is A LOT for a list, let me try to keep it simple...unless I can't help it. haha...so here it goes...
I am thankful for:

1. My job! :D Because people always tell you to do the things you love and you'd never have to work a day in your life. I'm not saying I'm in love with my job but I am content and happy, and I am blessed at this job. It's not easy and it can be quite the challenge but the positive always outweighs the negative. :D
2. The Nuffies. Just because of who they are. :D It really makes a huge a difference when you want to spend your free time at the office. 
3. Thei-thei and Rendy! I know they're Nuffies too but I think they deserve their own entry because I can tell them anything and everything and we always have one another to listen to when the sh*t gets cray. :P hahaha
4. My car. Because I've been telling myself that it's about time I start learning how to drive and at the start of the year I wrote down in my goals was to buy myself a car and I was finally able to do it. :D
5. Everyone's patience in teaching me how to drive. I'm manic when I drive and people aren't allowed to talk at me when I'm driving unless I ask them specifically to. hahaha
6. The kindle, because I love reading and I love being able to bring it out anywhere, especially when I'm in a cab, and read. Thanks for lending it to me Jonah! :D It has been put to good use! Add to that my iPad Mini because I twisted the bu's arm so he'd trade with me. Yaaaay! :D It has become my constant companion.
7. My new phone because it work waaaaay better than the other one. And it's the first phone I actually spent money on. Haha...about time!
8. My family because we're big, we're loud but most of all we're crazy! :D                                                                                 
9. My mom who is the worst worrier I've ever met. We used to have a tough relationship but then again what mother-daughter didn't. Thankfully we've outgrown it and now she's my biggest and best supporter. 
10. My dad who spoiled me silly and worked hard to keep his family happy. Despite the hardships we always manage to smile and be thankful. We may not have much but we have more than enough. :D 
11. My brothers who used to annoy and pick on me A LOT!!! It's because of them I know never to let anyone pick on me. 
12. All the opportunities this year has given me. I have been blessed beyond measure. Thank you Kuya Jess. 
13. My wonderful godchildren, Atchie Fif and Lucas-chichas. They make reunions extremely tiring fun and laughter filled. 



photo from cousin Coley taken at Sofia's party                                                                  

14. My faith because I know that there is nothing in this world I cannot conquer with God by my side. :D
15. My bu, because at the end of the day, there is no one I would rather come home to. :D I have been blessed endlessly and he is just really the cherry on top. :D Thank you for consistently being my inspiration. I love you bu!