A Lesson in Humility

Disclaimer: I apologize for the length but this will be long post. :) Just a warning.

I admit that one of my qualities that I have to work on is the fact that I am full of pride. Pride is not necessarily a bad thing. I take pride in the things I do, that's why I know it is the best that I can give. Although sometimes, pride can also get the best of you. There are times when I let it take control of me that I do not give others the chance to explain. It is sad, and I know that it is something I must work hard on changing.

Add to that a side of being very emotional. I am a passionate person. Especially when it comes to the things I love. Be it with people, things or events in my life. I believe that being passionate about something helps a person strive to be the best in whatever they choose to do. But being too passionate can also lead to a lot of drama. One thing that I am all too familiar with.

I was talking to a friend last night and it got me thinking. When did it change for me? And that's when I realized it changed when I felt that something was being taken away from me. My choice. It's hard to explain without going into detail and it's something I would like to leave in the past. But after that incident...everything changed. It was like I was on a mission to prove that I was someone who made her own choices. I made a lot of wrong choices but it was something I learned a lot from. But I digress...

While fighting to fall asleep I started to have a conversation with God. I was asking Him to help me figure out what it was that I should be doing with my life. I am starting to panic. I keep thinking, what was it that lead me to where I am? It was then that I realized that I am no one. (yes loved ones, I know I am not really no one to you) Who did I think I was? Why did I think that I was sooooo much better than everyone else when in fact I haven't done anything that helped make anyone else's life better. I had accomplishments at work, yes, but what did that have to say about the kind of person that I am? Then it hit me...I am too proud. I feel like I know everything when in fact I am still learning. I feel that I accomplished so much when in truth I have done nothing to help others make their lives better.That's just it...I think too highly of myself. Don't get me wrong, I am proud of what I accomplished. I worked hard for it. But it shouldn't end there. I have too much to learn to think I know everything. I have too much to share to think I have given enough. I have too much to give to think that there is nothing more.

So last night I learned that to be a better person you have to accept the fact that you have so much more to earn from life. Yes earn, because nothing is given for free. Everything you must work hard for. So thank you, to everyone who helped me get to where I am today. I am sorry for being too proud. I am ready to learn what it is I still need to learn.

So life...bring it on!