Giants...

When I was growing up I looked up to my parents. They were my heroes. They did everything the right way. They made the best decisions. They were everything I wanted to be when I grow up. That's still the case, except for the growing up part since I really do think I am grown up. Most of the time. :)

But through the years I've met people whom I have grown to admire. People who amaze me with the way they lead their lives. They do so many things and yet they're still grounded. They're still...human. :)

Let me give you a couple examples.

There's Patricia Bermudez-Hizon. :) I super love how she's such a full time mom. She's really involved with her kids. That's two boys but above that she still has this NGO that she started and continues to run. She also supports this orphanage full on. She's a sportscaster, a host. She owns a travel agency and she can do events. Aside from that, she has a big heart that's always willing to give. See, just listing all that down, whew. What more if you were living it. Then you get to meet her in person. She's super down to earth. The only time she ever brags is when she talks about her kids and it's not bragging, it's just being proud.

Then there's my cousin Nikki. She's living her dream. She's travelling, going to all these places and getting paid to do it. She has a wonderfully smart daughter who's hilarious! :) She's 2 but talks to you like she's 20. She's amazingly intuitive, much like her mom when she was growing up. I can't explain it, but in my generation, she's the one to look up to.

Then on the other hand...there are these people who are just well, not like them. Have you ever met someone who makes himself feel better by making others feel bad? They're not fun to be around. It's pretty tiring actually. I really do not understand the need to belittle anyone. If you were any good at whatever it is that you're saying then you don't need to talk about it, it will just show.

I'm not talking about any one person in particular, mind you. It was just a mere observation. I've met these kinds of people, a lot of them and sometimes I can't help but think how sad it must be to live a life where you always have to prove yourself.

One thing I'll remember when I have kids of my own is to show them to have pride in what they accomplish but to do so humbly because in the end, those who are too proud will find no one to brag to when everyone has grown tired of the same old story. :)

A Lesson in Humility

Disclaimer: I apologize for the length but this will be long post. :) Just a warning.

I admit that one of my qualities that I have to work on is the fact that I am full of pride. Pride is not necessarily a bad thing. I take pride in the things I do, that's why I know it is the best that I can give. Although sometimes, pride can also get the best of you. There are times when I let it take control of me that I do not give others the chance to explain. It is sad, and I know that it is something I must work hard on changing.

Add to that a side of being very emotional. I am a passionate person. Especially when it comes to the things I love. Be it with people, things or events in my life. I believe that being passionate about something helps a person strive to be the best in whatever they choose to do. But being too passionate can also lead to a lot of drama. One thing that I am all too familiar with.

I was talking to a friend last night and it got me thinking. When did it change for me? And that's when I realized it changed when I felt that something was being taken away from me. My choice. It's hard to explain without going into detail and it's something I would like to leave in the past. But after that incident...everything changed. It was like I was on a mission to prove that I was someone who made her own choices. I made a lot of wrong choices but it was something I learned a lot from. But I digress...

While fighting to fall asleep I started to have a conversation with God. I was asking Him to help me figure out what it was that I should be doing with my life. I am starting to panic. I keep thinking, what was it that lead me to where I am? It was then that I realized that I am no one. (yes loved ones, I know I am not really no one to you) Who did I think I was? Why did I think that I was sooooo much better than everyone else when in fact I haven't done anything that helped make anyone else's life better. I had accomplishments at work, yes, but what did that have to say about the kind of person that I am? Then it hit me...I am too proud. I feel like I know everything when in fact I am still learning. I feel that I accomplished so much when in truth I have done nothing to help others make their lives better.That's just it...I think too highly of myself. Don't get me wrong, I am proud of what I accomplished. I worked hard for it. But it shouldn't end there. I have too much to learn to think I know everything. I have too much to share to think I have given enough. I have too much to give to think that there is nothing more.

So last night I learned that to be a better person you have to accept the fact that you have so much more to earn from life. Yes earn, because nothing is given for free. Everything you must work hard for. So thank you, to everyone who helped me get to where I am today. I am sorry for being too proud. I am ready to learn what it is I still need to learn.

So life...bring it on!

Clearing the air

I promised myself this will be a positive documentation of what this whole process will be like. I fight to be optimistic when I feel frustrated. But my happiness for the future will not be trumped.

To clear the air. Let it be said, I loved my job. Loved because I am resigning not because of anything else mind you. I just feel like it has changed for me and today I need to be a happy person in all aspects and sacrificing my personal life is not an option anymore. I want to be able to spend my time doing the things that I want to do instead of staying at home cause I need to sleep. :)

I miss the beach, I miss my friends and most of all I miss my family! :) So yay for new beginnings! Let's all be positive.